File: “FuckYouAliceWhereTheFuckAreYou”

(Continued)

I’m so confused about what I’m supposed to do, now.

The NAC left the rest of us to put things back together. Or to die. I’m not sure. After the first relief forces came, there were fewer and fewer of us left in the city. It’s pretty hard to get in or out without some sort of transport.

But we were warned. I had plenty of time to leave.

Where was I supposed to go, though?

Alice wanted me to go to her fantasy world. Something about the adventure must have gotten to her head. I can’t believe she’d leave her life behind on a whim.

Why didn’t I agree and follow her?

This city is dead. Like a disease. No, like a virus. It still runs after the NAC’s relief workers went around and fixed the power. But everyone left. Yet the city still works like it always did. The lights turn on, the subways loop around, the doors open for me…

I’m not entirely alone, but I feel like those who stayed are even more insane than I am. They feel distant. Like something’s wrong with them. Like their brains are freaking empty.

Zombies.

This city and its people are zombies.

Fuck. Am I a zombie, too? Dammit all.

<Break>

So anyway. Today’s been fun. Alice told me months ago that she’d come back before her birthday. I’m still pretty pissed off. Not about her not coming back on time, of course. That’s honestly whatever.

I was being a bit mopey and dumb about it yesterday but I guess it got me writing more stupid diary nonsense to myself.

There’s just nobody to talk to. I don’t really have any friends.

It’s her fault. She wouldn’t let me have friends. Well, at least she used to do that, back when we were dating. I never tried again once we were married.

And she’s gone like five fucking minutes and then BAM she has weird alien human friends from a magic nonsense world. Not that I’d know about that place from experience. There’s enough going on here to worry about.

At least, there was.

<Break>

And another thing! She always had friends back in the lab. I was the third friend wheel! The poor sap that just followed everyone else, standing in the back while they all had fun! Even though she’s literally my life-partner! So what if I was a little boring to her, she could stand to be interested in the things I like for once.

If she even comes back.

<Break>

Fuck, am I fucked?

She wouldn’t divorce me or anything, would she?

<Break>

fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfufkfuckfuckfufkcufkckkkkkkkKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!1!!!1!DAMMMMMMMMMMNITTTTTALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLl

<Break>

I’m so stupid. Why else would she be spending months over there? She hardly spent a week the first time, came back here, then left after only a few weeks back! Then she was gone for almost a whole fucking month! Then, what, back for a few days?

What was it she had told me, back before this whole shittastrophe? “Oh, but Vic, we gotta care about our daughter! What would we ever do withouuuuttt heeeerrrrrr?”

<Break>

I’m going to go find Ai and rebuild her myself. Screw Alice. Why do I have to abandon our home and our “child” you used to care about so much just so you can have fun dancing about with your new friends?

Maybe when you come back and see Ai talking again, you’ll regain your senses.

<Break>

It’s cold as hell. Pulling heavy shit across town through a few inches of snow was probably not my brightest idea. Did it three more times anyway.

But of course, the downstairs is still a mess. I shouldn’t have put it off…

I’m going to work myself to death.

Future Notes:

Not sure if this was all done on the same day. Put in markers where I think I come back and wrote more.

Ai and her parts were heavy and annoying to carry all the way back home.

There was no one from the lab still living in New Seattle, and our government seemed to care not what we did. I decided to haul off any equipment I could manage and begin setting up shop in our downstairs “bunker.”

Speaking of which, I believe I had to spend a few extra hours cleaning out the small mess a group of survivors had made way back in July when the attack happened. At least I think that’s what I was cleaning. I didn’t have a camera down there until much later, when I started expanding the space. But there was footage of me carrying cleaning supplies down and then back up a few hours later.

I can’t remember what kind of mess it was. Judging from the video, there was at least a little blood involved. Not that I had any clue as to their fate: whoever was in there had left by the time Alice and I were brave enough to check.